Akatsuki Fun
by Cammille Vidan
Summary: This story is kinda weird. This is my first story pls review as i would be extreemly grateful. Aligato. Thanks. Whatever.
1. Shopping

**Kisame's sad and bad day. (Okay maybe not sad so sue me)Fine so its just weird so sue me.**

**First off, me no own naruto or his pals.**

**Tank U.**

Kisame happily hummed a tune as he listened to his new Ipod. 'Yes sir, I'm cuban Pete! I am the...' He was cut short by The Akatsuki Leader, or as I so lovingly call him... TAL.

"Meeting in the garden!!" He yelled, "In the cactus patch!!"

Itachi groaned.

"Oh come on!! Not the cactus patch! We just had a meeting in the pigs pen!!"

"And!" yelled Zetsu, "We also had a meeting in the oven, which you said to leave on for the cookies..."

Even Tobi had to say,

"Let's not forget the time we had a meeting in the refrigerator..."

Deidara also said,

"And that oh so fateful meeting in the shark pool... At least Kisame enjoyed himself..."

"Just Shaddup and do what I say!!"

After all the Akatsuki's finally got in the cactus patch, there was a prolonged period of groaning and moaning before the meeting finally began.

"Fellow Akatsukis," began TAL, "It is time for our annual shopping victim, as we are running out of supplies."

"AH HA!!" yelled sasori, "You finally admit its VICTIM, eh?"

"Sorry, I mean volunteer." replied TAL, "We'll all draw straws and the one with the pink straw has to take the shopping list from everyone. Sound fair?"

A general mumbling began around the Akatsukis... And they all came to a conclusion.

"Fine"

All the Akatsukis drew straws and poor Kisame got the pink one.

"Waaaaaahhh!!!!" Wailed Kisame.

"Yeahhhh!!!!" Cheered the other Akatsukis.

"Damdamdamdamdam!" cried Kisame.

"Shaddup, We already prepared our shopping list. Get'em from our rooms." Yelled Hidan as he shuffled back to his room.

"Aw don't feel bad Kisame... I had to do the last round... It's not that bad..." Comforted Sasori.

"For the last time, stop treating Kissy like a baby!" Yelled Itachi from across the cactus patch. "And get back to your room!!"

"Stop calling me Kissy! I have a full name!" wailed poor little Kisame.

"Hey, come on. I mean Diyeddarah doesn't mind..." Replied Itachi.

"Like hell I don't! It's Deidara!! D...E...I...D...A...R...A...!"

"Howsabout that saysorry."

"Sasori." Answered Sasori.

"How about you Hi-dan?"

"Dan? Where?" Asked TAL innocently.

"To-be?"

"Please stop messing about with peoples names Itachi-san." Replied Tobi.

"Fine." mumbled Itachi.

"Yeah!" continued Deidara. "How would you like it if we started calling you... Weasle-face?!"

"I'm defeated! Shaddup!" Yelled Itachi running back into his room.

After Kisame had picked up all the Akatsukis shopping lists he proceeded to the mall. When he finally reached the mall. Kisame breathed a sigh of relief. He took out Hidans shopping list:

1. New Underwear

2. Milk

3. Polish

4. Chicken soup

5. Frogs legs

Kisame stared at list in disbelief for 5 seconds. How the hell was he supposed to know what size underwear he wore?! Oh well... Buy one of everysize I guess. Thank god they were having buy 1 free 1 sale.

He got the Milk, Polish and Chicken soup easy enough... Now, frogs legs?! Oh man!! The french section should have them.

After he completed Hidans shopping...

Tobi's list:

1. 27 rolls of masking tape.

O.o WTF?! Anyway, Getting that was easy enough. Now lets see...

Zetsu's list:

1. Shark fins

2. Mackerel

3. 3 bottles of beer

4. Seaweed

5. Dipweed

Kisame stared at the list and shuddered. He finally found the fish section and bought the shark fins and mackerel. The 3 bottles of beer were no issue and niether was the seaweed. But what on earth was Dipweed? Kisame had no choice. He bought an episode of dilbert for him.

TAL's list:

1. Seventeen gallons of shade 13 flouroscent grey paint.

2. Seventeen gallons of shade 13 glossy grey paint.

3. Seventeen gallons of shade 13 Glow in the dark grey paint

Okay... Shopping for the team was now getting pure creepy. He had to visit virtually hundreds of other stores to get enough paint. And now lets see...

Kurousu's list:

1. Anti Hidan spray.

Anti Hidan spray?! What the heck was that?! Oh well... search the Naruto section. Sure enough, There it was on the highest part of the shelf printed in bold majestic letters... ANTI-HIDAN SPRAY... For KUROUSU's ONLY. Kisame stared...

"F-for Ku-ku-kuro-sss-su'-u's Oh-h-n-n-liii... Oh! For Kurousu's Only! I see!"

Now Deidara's list...

1. Weed Killer (Two pls)

2. Rat traps (Three pls)

3. Play dough (Eight sets pls... Any will do)

'Oh... well. This is the sanest list in all of the above I guess.' Thought Kisame to himself as he strolled down the aisle gathering the named objects.

Now... Sasori's list:

1. Playing cards

2. UNO cards

3. A dead carcass.

Kisame stared at the third number in the list. Bad english... Should be dead body. He got all three easily enough whilst hoping nobody notices the manager is missing.

Now, for Itachi's list:

FanPCgamermagazinesomesilkropesstringsantifangirlspraybibleteddybear

Kisame stared at the list. Gawd!! How he wished Itachi would at least leave a space in between the words. Lets see...

"Fan" Kisame found that easily.

"PC gamer magazine" OK.

"some...silk" erm... done.

"r-ropes" done.

"Strings and tea... Done"

"Fangirl spray." Wow. Okay.

"Bible and teddy bear... Finished!!"

Kisame sighed in relief. He finally made it back to the Akatsuki Hidout without buying anything of his own. He was too tired. He recieved his pay and went soundly to sleep as the Akatsukis rampaged the bags for their items. And Itachi sprayed a handful of what he thought was '**ANTI **fangirl spray' on himself and left the house... A blood curdling scream was soon heard thereafter.

**What'd you all think? Send some reviews! But no flames pls... This is my first fanfic thanx. )**


	2. Goldfish syndrome

Disclaimer: Yo! I do not own naruto and his friends.

Itachi growled at Kisame. His robe was torn and his hair was a mess. One of his sandles were missing.

"You tried to kill me!" yelled Itachi chasing Kisame all over the hideout, "That was attempted murder!!"

"I-it was an accident Itachi-san!" pleaded Kisame, fleeing from his raging comrad, "I couldn't read your writing!"

"What's so difficult to read?!" roared Itachi flinging kunais wildly at Kisame, "I wrote it very clearly!!"

Diedara picked up the shopping list and starred at Itachi's writing in horror. "Oh... My... God..." He whispered, "It's a monster from my worst nightmare..."

Sasori starred at the shopping list. "Ye Gods!" He yelled, As he snagged Itachi with a puppet of his, "Itachi, I'm afraid I have to introduce you to a friend of mine! He's called: ..."

Dramatic... Pause...

"Yes?" asked Itachi, tangled up by strings and wooden body parts, "who?"

"The..." continued sasori in a dramatic Power Rangers pose, "Space Between Words!" Dum Dum Duuummm...

Silence...

Longer Siilence...

Longer...

"O.K." Said Itachi finally starring at Sasori who had not moved a muscle for the past 2 hours, "You made your point."

"Good to see you understand." Grinned Sasori. Not a smart idea.

KLACK... CLICK...

"O Sheet mi jow logged." Grinned Sasori rather unhappily. "Halp ged mai kee daydarra."

"Eesshh, I warned you not to grin like that." Mumbled Diedara searching around his pockets before pulling out a key labled:

SASORI'S JAW KEY

"Here Sasori-san." said Diedara passing the key to him.

"Tanks." Grinned Sasori, placing the key into a slot underneath his jaw and twisting it.

WHIRR... CLACK!

"Phew..." Sighed Sasori, "I hate it when that happens."

"What the?" Said Zetsu suddenly, spinning around, "I suddenly realize that Sasori's supposed to be dead!!"

Silence Again...

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" Yelled TAL all of a sudden, "THERES TOO MUCH QUIET!!!"

He ran into the kitchen and wasn't seen for the rest of the day.

"Hey..." Said Tobi suddenly, on a completely unrelated issue, "There's a hole in my pocket!"

Kozazu sprang from his seat. "Free change!!" yelled he.

Si...

"No more silence!" yelled Itachi.

But...

"NO!!"

Fine... Anyways...

"Hey! You guys! I'm back!!" Yelled Hidans HeadTM "Just sew me back to my body!"

"Ye gods, arn't you supposed to be dead?" asked sasori inquisitively.

"Arn't you?!" Asked Hidans HeadTM Angrily.

"Ahh, touche."

And Suddenly! A bolt of mysterious purple lightning looking Energy-XTM bolted through the skies and hit the Akatsuki Hideout, turning Kisame into... a goldfish!! Dum Dum Dummmm...

Luckily he came with a free fishtank.

"OMG a free fish!!" yelled Zetsu happily, licking his lips. "I love fish!"

"Gay-ness hmm." said Diedara smirking.

"Not that sort of love, you ninny." Pouted Zetsu angrily, "And besides, how do you know it's a boy?"

"Well! urmmm... hmm, Kisame's missing hmm." replied diedara.

"Don't be daft." mummured Itachi. "Kis-Kis is a shark, not a goldfish."

"Don't call me that!" Kisame tried to say, but all he got was a series of bubbles.

"Hey, Everybody-san! I think goldfish-san is trying to tell us something!!" Yelled Tobi excitedly whilst jumping up and down.

Everyone starred at the goldfish, who seemed to be swimming around in mad circles.

"Cor, would you look at that?" said Itachi.

"Damn right i'm looking hmm." said (guess who)

"Wow." mummured Sasori.

The fish was swimming around in circles and after it was sure it had caught thier attention it began swimming in letter-ish formations.

I...

"It's spelling your name Itachi!!" Yelled Zetsu excitedly.

"No it isn..."

A...

"Akatsuki!!" Yelled Tobi, "It's spelling Akatsuki!!"

"But it used 'I' first." Stated Sasori.

"Shaddup hmm."

M...

"IAM!!" Yelled Sasori.

"What's Aye-am?" asked Zetsu.

K...

"IAMK!!" Said Sasori, "It's spelling I-AM'K!!"

"Aye amked, hmm?"

I...

"IAMKI!!" Yelled (I think you know who)

"It's so obvious!!" Yelled Itachi, "I AM KEY!! It's a key! But a key to what?"

The Goldfish [In case you guys forgot it's Kisame began panicking and doubled it's speed.

S...

"IAMKIS..." Before (That Guy) finished his sentence...

A...

"IAM..."

M...

"IAM...

E!

"I solved it hmm!" yelled diedara, "It's spelling I AM KISAME!!"

And suddenly, a brilliant blue explosion lit the room, and in a flash Kisame stood where the goldfish once was. But now, Diedara was missing... Bum Bum Bummm... And in his place... was... A GOLDFISH!

BUM BUM BUMMM!!!

"Saved!" yelled Kisame happily stretching his body whilst yawning. "you won't believe how cramped it felt in there!!!"

"Hey, Where's Diedara-San, everybody-san?"

Well this was quite a stupid chapter. Sorry for the cliffhanger. I'm a bit out of ideas at the moment. If you guys have any you'd like to share with me, I'd be happy to listen.


End file.
